on the top of my head

Right now, I'm typing faster than I'm thinking. It's taking a while to sink in if I'm making it all any sense with what I've just posted.

Primarily, there are issues that I do not want to face right now and I'm afraid that once I put words into this blog they will become soooo real it's scary.

Given that this is my own private space, I want to face my fears and hopefully survive when I finally confront them.

On little things...

1. I am missing one Secondary Sponsor. Actually, there are three of them that I had in mind for the position because they represent a part of my life. My high school friend who I can't seem to reach. A college friend who might be migrating. A post-relationship friend who wouldn't want to wear a gown. Has it really taken me so long that I don't have that much single friends to fill in a part???
2. I am missing a Female Principal Sponsor. Ok, the idea was 6 from my side, six from his. Well, I have six on mine, but he has 5 on his. Where do we get 1 more??? The person we'd like to fill the part is not really a good idea because she's VERY influential at work and people might think we are mixing our professional lives with our personal lives. As if we are not doing so right now.
3. I'd still want to Tiffany Chairs on my wedding. But I'd love the 1952 Mercedes Benz that we are planning to rent. Or having Manila Philharmonic Orchestra play at both Church and Reception. It sucks when you don't get what you want. Argh!!!

On a bigger note.

MIL2B!

Need I say more?

• She wants me to change my whole wedding colors just because she wants to reuse a gown she plans to wear for a family's wedding.
• She doesn't want me to hire an organizer because it won't cause at all. But how could I order her relatives around to ensure that the different suppliers who don't know each other will arrange my reception the way I want it arranged.
• She wants me to spend over this weekend 40kms away from home, just so that she could grill me, or so my fiancee jokes.

I know she just wants to be involved and she really wants to help. However, this is my wedding. A wedding I've planned and saved (still saving) for a very long time.

Gawd.

Please let me live through this weekend.

I hope this post won't boomerang on me sooner or later.