i met with the devil
I met with the devil this afternoon. I didn't intend for it to happen nor did I ever want it to happen.
I went to an interview this afternoon in Makati. I was on my way up in an elevator at the GT Tower when the door opened at one of the floors. This guy comes in intending to go to the 12th floor for lunch, while the elevator was riding up. I saw his face and I couldn't believe it.
I cringed. I shook. I lost my cool.
I was standing beside the guy who violated me more than seven years ago. The guy who made me feel I didn't have a choice or control in the situation.
He said "hi", I mumbled a greeting in return. He made small talk and I replied with short answers, trying so hard not to stutter. I got off my floor and, to my shock, he followed me. He walked pass me and went in the office. Apparently he was working for the office I was applying for.
I shook. I cringed. My hands were shaking so bad when I got my form.
I quietly sat down in the reception area, trying to concentrate on filling up the form. He came up again, sat beside me, and started talking. I tried to keep my legs from shaking by sliding one foot behind an ankle.
He left shortly after asking me some more questions. One of the things that was running through my mind was "Thank God I changed phone numbers already."
The interview went downhill after that and so did the rest of the day.
I went to an interview this afternoon in Makati. I was on my way up in an elevator at the GT Tower when the door opened at one of the floors. This guy comes in intending to go to the 12th floor for lunch, while the elevator was riding up. I saw his face and I couldn't believe it.
I cringed. I shook. I lost my cool.
I was standing beside the guy who violated me more than seven years ago. The guy who made me feel I didn't have a choice or control in the situation.
He said "hi", I mumbled a greeting in return. He made small talk and I replied with short answers, trying so hard not to stutter. I got off my floor and, to my shock, he followed me. He walked pass me and went in the office. Apparently he was working for the office I was applying for.
I shook. I cringed. My hands were shaking so bad when I got my form.
I quietly sat down in the reception area, trying to concentrate on filling up the form. He came up again, sat beside me, and started talking. I tried to keep my legs from shaking by sliding one foot behind an ankle.
He left shortly after asking me some more questions. One of the things that was running through my mind was "Thank God I changed phone numbers already."
God, this is not fair.I should have taken meeting him as a bad omen. I was thinking twice about the company already and seeing him there kinda sealed the nail to the coffin.
After all these years, I'm supposed to be okay. I'm not supposed to be bothered by him. I shouldn't be afraid of him cause he's only human. Granted, he is one of the most evil people in my life, but he's just a man. Why does affect me so much? Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? When will I ever be okay with this chapter in my life? I don't want to think that I'll be affected like this for the rest of my life.
The interview went downhill after that and so did the rest of the day.
God, please grant me the grace and the strength to accept the things that I cannot change.
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