ambivalent mode
Lately, I've been feeling a bit down and out. It seems now that I'm ok with my life in general, I'm worried cause I'm not worrying about anything.
Life is good right now. But somehow it's not.
If there's one word to describe myself, it's passionate. I live my life with gusto and do things with fervor so that I can say, I lived my life. However, there's nothing to be passionate about right now.
Work is out of the question -- I work with gusto and it's hectic, but it's not something to be passionate about really. I end up in a cold bed late at night anyways.
My passion for my O2 XDA II has died down -- probably because I talked about it too much in my blog.
Again, here’s nothing to be passionate about. No inspiration as of the moment. Not even a Muse for this post. As I write the middle of this post, it dawns to me it’s because I’m not inspired by anyone right now.
Life is good right now. But somehow it's not.
If there's one word to describe myself, it's passionate. I live my life with gusto and do things with fervor so that I can say, I lived my life. However, there's nothing to be passionate about right now.
Work is out of the question -- I work with gusto and it's hectic, but it's not something to be passionate about really. I end up in a cold bed late at night anyways.
My passion for my O2 XDA II has died down -- probably because I talked about it too much in my blog.
Again, here’s nothing to be passionate about. No inspiration as of the moment. Not even a Muse for this post. As I write the middle of this post, it dawns to me it’s because I’m not inspired by anyone right now.
- The feelings for my crush (from the kilig post) died when I realized he was serious with me. I mean, I like him but not enough to get involved with him. I guess the idea of me hurting someone in the process is enough for me to put a stop into things.
- I got a chance to hangout with Gerry’s guy last Friday and it sucked. After talking to him, I realized I didn’t want to be with someone who is self-absorbed, immature, and arrogant through out the night.
- Flirting with roll of quarters ceased to amuse me as he tried groping again last Friday. I think he got the hint when I chose his companion over him.
- Wanting to get to know his companion ended when I found out he is married.
- An infatuation occurred last week and it was the only one that felt so good. Unfortunately, it’s a good for one time deal because of complications. I think I scared him off a bit.
- I don’t want a serious relationship, just someone to be sweet with.
- I want to fool around but not with a one-night stand kind of guy (which seems to be the only one available out there.)
- I want to have a better future in the U.S. but I don’t want to leave the Philippines.
- I want to hang out with my friends at Sidebar but I don’t want to hangout with them there on a Friday night.
- I want to go out and enjoy myself, but at the same time I'm yearning to stay in bed and hibernate.
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