trying to define true love

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

Excerpt from Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda

True Love. What is it? What happened to me last night now forces me to try and find an answer to this question.

To begin with, I recall from high school that are three types of love: Philia, Eros, and Agape. For the sake of this post, a checking with google.com is made to check if I recalled it right and tried to search if there was more than three. There is. The most simple and common kind of love, Storge.

Storge is the kind that greatly deals with affection and familiarity. Other than human beings, this can be extended to inanimate objects and animals because its requirement is mere presence. When we lose something important, storge is evident because the object of the love is lost.

Eros is the romantic, even sexual, kind of love. This exists between two people who wishes to unite in more ways than one -- physically, emotionally, and even legally. Often, infatuation, chemistry, passion, and romance come to mind because there's always this spark that has to be present. The sizzle that you feel when your skins touch. There is this overwhelming physical need to be united by touching, kissing, and making love. However, it does in no way degrade to simply just sex.

Philia is the brotherly kind of love. The kind of love that exists between family and friends (mind you, not acquaintances!) It may be considered as the platonic kind of love cause it does not have the Eros kind of love.

Agape is the unconditional love. The kind of love that God has for mankind and parents, especially mothers, for their children. The love that gives selflessly, sacrifices, and does not need to be loved in return.

With all these types of love defined, I realize that true love is not as simple as giving a definition similar to those above. That true love is actually a mix of all of these.

When one is in a romantic relationship, eros love comes to mind (storge is given because there is familiarity and presence in eros). But for the relationship (or marriage) to succeed, it does not thrive on eros alone. There comes a time that the passion dies. True, passion should be fanned and innovative romantic ways should be used to respark the relationship. However, the relationship must be rooted in something more than fickle moods. This is where philia love comes in. Over time spent together by the couple, philia builds the friendship in the relationship and respect for each other. Finally, when things go tough (with three kids, mortgage, and hellish in-laws), it is the agape love that enables the ability to become selfless and make sacrifices to make things work. Agape enables one to give without expecting anything in return.

It is with defining the different types of love and true love that I have come to realize I have found mine. The one I'm familiar with. The person I always want to see and who I miss a lot when I don't. A friend of almost 11 years with whom I have shared my life and my thoughts with. The guy I have been physically attracted to, who sets me off with passion just by smiling at me, holding my hands, and kissing me senseless. With whom I love, without knowing how or why, and without question... The one I love even though he does not love me in return.