the reason behind the smile

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

Love Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda

What do you call two people from opposite sexes, attracted to each other, gone past flirting, more than friends, but never as flings, with no possibility of a happy ending?

My friend, Cookie, calls it M.U., which stands for Malabong Usapan (roughly translated in English as Vague Understanding/Agreement).

I have written before in my post, Doomed From The Start, that I only want to get involve in a relationship that would go somewhere. It was in another post, On Bouncing Back, that I defined the four types of guys I mentally categorize the men I meet in. Stressing on the fact that I'm not ready to meet the forever kind of guy.

A couple of weeks back, I met K. I thought he'd be perfect in the flirt category, maybe even fling is there's a certain mutual attraction. As I gotten to know him, he progressed to being a friend. I was no longer interested in fooling around with him, as friends were at the top of ranking and that means "no-messing-around."

We were communicating as often as we could, filling each other's inbox with numerous texts during the day. It all starts with a good morning, updating each other what we're doing, lunch, some more chit-chats, gym (on my part), until we both go to sleep.

He's sweet and I like receiving out of the blue messages. But I knew better to read between the lines. There was a point when I felt the emotional current was changing but I pretend not to notice. It was better not to assume anything.

That is until he told me so himself. From the "I like you like you." to the "I love you."

As you can imagine, my initial reaction were:

• Gawd, scared.
• This is too real, too fast, too soon.
• I'm not ready.
• I'm terrified.
• What if I get hurt again?

Again the question:

"What do you call two people from opposite sexes, attracted to each other, gone past flirting, more than friends, but never as flings, with no possibility of a happy ending?"

I checked an online dictionary for a possible definition of my situation and came up with:

Main Entry: qua·si
Pronunciation: 'kwA-"zI, -"sI; 'kwä-zE, -sE
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin, as if, as it were, from quam as + si if
: having such a resemblance to another thing as to fall within its general category [a quasi corporation]

Quam as + si if. As if.

To some degree. In some manner. Having a likeness to something. Having some resemblance to.

Ergo, I am in a quasi relationship..

A somewhat relationship, as though in a relationship, and resembling a relationship.

Weird. Even for me.

What the heck, I'm happy.

Hakuna Matata.

Carpei Diem.