sex and the city and me

Last night I got the chance to watch the Sex and the City season five marathon on HBO -- all eight episodes in one sitting.

Throughout the four hours of watching, I can't help but see myself in these women considering the fact that we are of different cultures. It was then that I was inspired to make my blog something to that effect -- a blog on sex, relationship and life. Or atleast write a post on the topics.

My college friends know how much I love the sitcom. (Guys, even though you didn't get to give me the complete season vcds on my last birthday, I appreciate the thought.) Wes, on his testimonial on my friendster, defines me as a schizophrenic Sex and the City leads. As much as I am the sex advisor of most of my friends, I don't think I can openly write about it here in my blog, for fear that my parents and family members will find out about this site. But that doesn't mean I cannot raise questions or points to ponder on.

As I watched episode after episode, some of the things they said/discussed stuck to me like bubble gum on a shoe. I guess, in a way, these are the things that I would ask after much much internalization. I am glad that these episodes pre-processed it for me.

1. When someone asks you when was the last time you had sex and you have to think of the answer, it mean it's been THAT long. When Anthony said this to Charlotte, I found it funny... that is, until I forced myself to answer the question


2. How many great loves do a person have in a lifetime? One IF s/he's lucky. Carrie asked this question to the sailor, to which the sailor answered such. It made me sad and scared cause I had one great love -- I'm too young not to have another. I do realize that some people were not as lucky as me to have found one, but they're lucky that they didn't lose one.


3. I love you... but I love myself more. Samantha said this when she suspected her cheating boyfriend was cheating on her again. Truth be told, I always loved without limit or boundaries. In all the relationship I had, I had left little for myself. This is the lesson that I know I have to learn -- assuming I haven't in the last relationship. This adage should be my motto mantra or something.


4. Plus one is the loneliest number. This is the title of episode71. There are times when I have to go to affairs that require a date and I don't have one. Sometimes, I wish I could just wish for a guy to appear for the night and be with me, so I don't have to feel so alone in a party full of people.


5. We can't have it all. This was when Carrie sparked with someone who had a girlfriend, thus making Jack Burger not an option. It seems that life wouldn't be life if we had everything we wanted, like there is some sort of rule that if we have A, we can't have B. This then poses the question, "What would you rather have? A very good career or a very good love life?" This, I believe, is not just a matter of choice, but that of chance and circumstance. I still don't have an answer on what I would want more.


6. We are our worst critic. Carrie released her book and was awaiting her review from the New York Times, but she got reviewed for her relationships instead by someone who dated Aidan. Somehow, we always believe the worst in ourselves, especially coming from someone who we feel judges us. In the end, the value we put on others opinion is nothing compared to the value we have on ourselves.


7. Women also feel the need to get laid. Carrie went to San Francisco on a book tour and decided to meet Big so that she can get laid. Women are more picky than men as to who they want to have sex with. Women tend to go for someone they know, instead of some nameless, faceless stranger from a bar. I think it has something to do with respecting ourselves after the fact. Society has dictated on what is appropriate and what is not, what is slut and what is not, what is the norm and what is not. I guess, women fear to be ostracized and lose the respect others have for them for one night of hot, passionate sex with a total stranger.


8. Settling to get settled or not at all. The last episode was the wedding of two unlikely couples in the movie, a supposedly gay and a society lady. They claim love but others think otherwise. Is it companionship or the zsa zsa zsu (a.k.a butterflies in the stomach) that people get married? I know I won't get married unless I have the zsa zsa zsu, but would I risk the one time I'm going to get married knowing that the zsa zsa zsu is bound to fade? Worse, if the marriage ends.

I know I don't have the answers to most of these, nor have I closed most of the issues for myself. Up until now, it's food for thought. These thoughts may change over time, considering that change is the only constant thing in the world, and we have the capability to adapt to change.

Bottomline is, no matter how bad things are or how much things hurt, it's the hope in us that makes us search for the one, build friendships and relationships, take risks, and live life to the fullest. May we never lose it.