3m adhesive

Note: Title courtesy of Geo.

3M, or Married-Men-Magnet, is something I can consider myself. I have a tendency to attract the not-so-single, not-so-available kind of men since I turned biologically 21. This translate to being emotionally 30. Now that I'm 25 (almost 26), I think I've matured to being emotionally 40, thus I am able to understand the mind of the married kind (not that I watch the show in HBO).

In my years of experience of dealing with the married kind, I found out:

1. It is the idea of having an occassional break from the usual meal and routine that triggers men to look for variety. They will pursue girls with much more effort, in the hopes of having a second (third or fourth) viand in the menu.
2. Married men get the girls (whether or not they tell them they're married) because they know girls' tickle spots, what makes girls fall, and the kind of affection girls need. After all, they've been there are at least once before. In other words, they court better than single men.
3. They are more romantic with their girlfriends than they are with their wives. Partly because I think they live with the wives day in and day out. The anticipation of meeting their girlfriends in secret is more exciting and appealing because they don't know when the next time will be. Thus, making each and every date a special one.
4. They can be more honest and oppen with the girlfriends rather than the wives, especially if it's the wives that's causing some trouble. They feel that the girlfriends are more interested in what they're saying than their wives will ever be. After all, they won't hear about endless house and kids problems that they get to experience themselves.
5. They are more generous and patient with girlfriends, more forgiving even, out of guilt. They are guilty of not giving the girlfriends what they really need -- them as their husbands.

What makes me a likely candidate, or other girls out there, are:

1. Ability to have fun and make the most out of it;
2. Flexible, especially in terms of schedule;
3. Intellectually stimulating, someone they can have a decent conversation with;
4. Never assumes or expects anything in return (i.e. marriage);
5. Honest and straightforward; and
6. Unattached, strong, independent and does not have excess baggage (emotional or otherwise);

When I was younger, I thought that men who go out on dates with single women are single also. It was then that I learned never to assume. Twice of my involvement with the married kind, I didn't know that they were in fact married. After learning from my first experience, I asked the second what his status. It wasn't my fault he lied. When I found out (in both cases), I stopped the relationship or dating and shifted to becoming just friends with them. Of course being just friends with them rarely stops the attraction they may feel for me, but on my part, it's dead.

D. E. A. D.

Everytime it happens, it feels like I'm doused with cold water in the middle of deep slumber and I can't go back to they way it was before.

They try to revive what once was. Being a Catholic and with much respect to marriage and family, I say no but not directly. God knows I've had my share of feeding egos after "accidentally" stepping on them. I know I don't want to be someone's second choice, or a mistress. So instead of pronouncing, "NO", I stipulate some things prerequisite to that kind of setup.

After my stipulation of my own condo in my name and the brand new Volkswagen New Beetle (also in my name), they run off to the other direction. I haven't even gotten to the point of monthly clothes and expense allowance. :)

This, of course, is a soft let down. It's like telling them, "You have a different set of priorities, and you can't give me what I need. We're better off being friends."

There is only one lesson that I learned by being a 3M. I realize that even though they claim to love their wives and their girlfriends, itis never the case. They only love themselves cause they can't make the necessary sacrifices for their marriages, nor could they do the right thing with their girlfriends.