dad's saying
My dad always tells me, "Marry the man who loves you and not the man you love."
Everytime he says it, he and I have an argument. On my point, I cannot imagine saddling up myself with someone I don't love. It's imperative that I love the guy with all my heart before I can commit myself to him. Otherwise, it just doesn't seem to be worth it.
My dad claims that a girl can learn to love a guy but a guy can almost never learn to love a girl. The guy either loves a girl or not. The guy who truly loves a girl would do anything in his power to care, provide, pamper, and not hurt her.
This has been the way with my parents.
Historically, my mom did not love my dad when they first got together because she was in love with someone else. She, however, had the hindsight to recognize that my dad was a better man to be with than the first guy. So when they got my grandfather's approval, my mom shacked up with my dad. Almost twenty-seven years later, they're still together and my mom has learned to love my dad as he deserves to be loved.
Seeing how my dad evidently loves my mom more, I know that I don't want to end up like them. I have a very strong personality and I don't like the idea that I have the ability to control my husband because of the fact that he loves me more than I love him. It's not like I don't want a man who worships the ground I walk on, it's more of not letting me walk all over him.
I want to be with someone who will take hold of the relationship and not let me run it according to my wishes because he thinks it will make me happy. I want someone who is man enough to care and provide for me (and our future family) but would not give into my every whim. Yes, the romantic in me wants the knight in shining armor, but I definitely do not want a puppy who licks my ankle.
I know that my dad and I will never agree on the man-who-would-be-my-spouse because no guy will ever be good enough for his only daughter. (Come to think, he never really agreed on anyone I brought home.) But I'm optimistic that someday we will reach a compromise -- I will marry the man who loves me a little more than I love him.
* * *
Last night, I watched Oprah and her guest was Gwyneth Paltrow. They talked about an experience Ms. Paltrow had with her dad when she was ten years old. One weekend, her dad took her to Paris, France and let her order anything she wanted from room service. For a couple of days, she had the time of her life.
On the flight home, her dad asked her if she knew why she was brought to Paris. She said she thought it was just to spend time alone with her dad bonding, like her brother was spending the weekend alone with their mom.
Her dad said something like, "It's because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with man who loves you very much."
It was then that I realized that I have found the man who loves me more than I love him -- my dad. I don't need to look for a guy out there who would love me more than I love him because I don't think any guy could/would ever measure up to how much my dad loves me.
I love you, Papa.
Everytime he says it, he and I have an argument. On my point, I cannot imagine saddling up myself with someone I don't love. It's imperative that I love the guy with all my heart before I can commit myself to him. Otherwise, it just doesn't seem to be worth it.
My dad claims that a girl can learn to love a guy but a guy can almost never learn to love a girl. The guy either loves a girl or not. The guy who truly loves a girl would do anything in his power to care, provide, pamper, and not hurt her.
This has been the way with my parents.
Historically, my mom did not love my dad when they first got together because she was in love with someone else. She, however, had the hindsight to recognize that my dad was a better man to be with than the first guy. So when they got my grandfather's approval, my mom shacked up with my dad. Almost twenty-seven years later, they're still together and my mom has learned to love my dad as he deserves to be loved.
Seeing how my dad evidently loves my mom more, I know that I don't want to end up like them. I have a very strong personality and I don't like the idea that I have the ability to control my husband because of the fact that he loves me more than I love him. It's not like I don't want a man who worships the ground I walk on, it's more of not letting me walk all over him.
I want to be with someone who will take hold of the relationship and not let me run it according to my wishes because he thinks it will make me happy. I want someone who is man enough to care and provide for me (and our future family) but would not give into my every whim. Yes, the romantic in me wants the knight in shining armor, but I definitely do not want a puppy who licks my ankle.
I know that my dad and I will never agree on the man-who-would-be-my-spouse because no guy will ever be good enough for his only daughter. (Come to think, he never really agreed on anyone I brought home.) But I'm optimistic that someday we will reach a compromise -- I will marry the man who loves me a little more than I love him.
Last night, I watched Oprah and her guest was Gwyneth Paltrow. They talked about an experience Ms. Paltrow had with her dad when she was ten years old. One weekend, her dad took her to Paris, France and let her order anything she wanted from room service. For a couple of days, she had the time of her life.
On the flight home, her dad asked her if she knew why she was brought to Paris. She said she thought it was just to spend time alone with her dad bonding, like her brother was spending the weekend alone with their mom.
Her dad said something like, "It's because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with man who loves you very much."
It was then that I realized that I have found the man who loves me more than I love him -- my dad. I don't need to look for a guy out there who would love me more than I love him because I don't think any guy could/would ever measure up to how much my dad loves me.
I love you, Papa.
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