doomed from the start
For a couple of days now I am plagued with the question: "Would I allow myself to be involved in a relationship that is doomed from the start?"
At my age, I know I should be getting involved with guys with the potential of a "happily-ever-after" kind of ending. I'm too old to play the dating game where you just go out and have fun for the moment. I ought to be thinking about potential life partners and not get into a relationship with someone of the remotest possibility.
I have gone through the no-strings-attached dating schema that I'm left to wonder what's next after each "phase" passes. Living for the moment and just having fun now leave a foul taste on the mouth, as well as a deeper void compared to the emptiness that was there in the first place.
Key words in all of this are ought, should, potential, and future.
In the 25 years I have been on this earth, I have a rule-set of what kind of guy I'd want to end up with. This, of course, has been greatly influenced by my family, friends, and society in general. In my mind, he has to be a gentleman, intellectually stimulating, socially acceptable, emotionally stable, and financially able.
Lately, I've been meeting guys who I'd really want to go out with, be sweet with, or simply have fun with. Unfortunately, when it comes to the possibility of getting together in a relationship, I don't see myself with them for a long period of time. They seem to lack one or two of the criterion I have set for myself.
Thus, the question: "Would I still get involved with someone who I know I cannot (or would not) have a future with?"
Quite ironically, compared to my views of out of the box thinking, I am containing myself in a box or preconceived notion of what kind of person I'd want to end up with in the future. I honestly don't want to allow myself to that kind of risk when it comes to my future lifelong partner. To the point that my stance on this is, "I'd rather be alone than be with someone who I cannot be secured and/or happy with."
A lonely life, I think.
Somehow, over the years, I'm tired of getting my heart to be a target practice, that I'd rather make a rational choice on this. Rational decisions, of course, do not almost always equal a happy ending. But the risks are less and I know myself well enough to make the best out of every situation.
At the same time, I can make the most of a short-lived relationship.
Arrrghhh! Confusing!
I think I'm just getting old. *sigh*
At my age, I know I should be getting involved with guys with the potential of a "happily-ever-after" kind of ending. I'm too old to play the dating game where you just go out and have fun for the moment. I ought to be thinking about potential life partners and not get into a relationship with someone of the remotest possibility.
I have gone through the no-strings-attached dating schema that I'm left to wonder what's next after each "phase" passes. Living for the moment and just having fun now leave a foul taste on the mouth, as well as a deeper void compared to the emptiness that was there in the first place.
Key words in all of this are ought, should, potential, and future.
In the 25 years I have been on this earth, I have a rule-set of what kind of guy I'd want to end up with. This, of course, has been greatly influenced by my family, friends, and society in general. In my mind, he has to be a gentleman, intellectually stimulating, socially acceptable, emotionally stable, and financially able.
Lately, I've been meeting guys who I'd really want to go out with, be sweet with, or simply have fun with. Unfortunately, when it comes to the possibility of getting together in a relationship, I don't see myself with them for a long period of time. They seem to lack one or two of the criterion I have set for myself.
Thus, the question: "Would I still get involved with someone who I know I cannot (or would not) have a future with?"
Quite ironically, compared to my views of out of the box thinking, I am containing myself in a box or preconceived notion of what kind of person I'd want to end up with in the future. I honestly don't want to allow myself to that kind of risk when it comes to my future lifelong partner. To the point that my stance on this is, "I'd rather be alone than be with someone who I cannot be secured and/or happy with."
A lonely life, I think.
Somehow, over the years, I'm tired of getting my heart to be a target practice, that I'd rather make a rational choice on this. Rational decisions, of course, do not almost always equal a happy ending. But the risks are less and I know myself well enough to make the best out of every situation.
At the same time, I can make the most of a short-lived relationship.
Arrrghhh! Confusing!
I think I'm just getting old. *sigh*
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