moving on: the ex saga continues
I had a lot of feedback offline from my friends who read the big question: why can't you be friends with your ex. Some of them shared their thoughts, while other shared their experiences. (They said they were too shy to post a comment.)
Aside from that, I happened on the comments page of my good friend Ramibabe, where an anonymous poster said that "lost love is healed by another love and time". While I agree with what Ramibabe said, "different strokes for different folks", I decided to continue my thoughts on this post and thereby continuing the saga of dealing with the exes.
Along time ago, I made the mistake of having another boyfriend (2nd), six months after I brokeup with my first (1st). At that time, I believed that the only way I could forget about the 1st is if there was someone new. After all, he had someone new, so why can't I?
I admit I was immature at that time, thinking that the 2nd would help me heal and restore my ego. In a way, he did. I am not claiming he is perfect. He has his faults, of course. One thing that I will never forget him for is he helped me become the person I am right now.
He taught me to be independent, strong, and showed me that they only way I would regain my self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth is if I show myself the esteem, respect, and worth I think I should have. He gave me a beautiful gift of showing me how much he loved me and appreciated me as I am. His thoughtfulness and generosity was more than any girl could ever ask for. It was later on that I realized I didn't love him the same way. I couldn't give him the love he deserved, because I had nothing to give -- I gave what I had in my last relationship.
I was a hollow human being when I got involved with him. In my selfish way, I used him to replace the hurts of my past, help me get over the 1st, and heal my heart. I didn't want to remember my 1st and wanted him to replace the memories so badly. But it wasn't fair. I wasn't whole when I came in to the relationship with him. I didn't give him the love he deserved because the shadow of the 1st was still there.
When we broke up, I took the time to heal myself. I dated yes, but I didn't get serious with anyone because I knew I wasn't completely healed. By the time I got myself into another relationship, it had been two years since the 2nd and I broke up. By then, there were no shadows from both exes. I loved them still for they were a part of my life, but I no longer love them anymore for it to affect my then present boyfriend.
Now that another relationship had passed, I'm taking my time to heal. I'm broken, but I know I can heal myself given enough time. The heart is a resilient organ. The damage is there, but in time it will heal. I tell myself, i don't need another man to fix a broken me. Nor do I need another person to become whole again.
Only me and time can do that.
Aside from that, I happened on the comments page of my good friend Ramibabe, where an anonymous poster said that "lost love is healed by another love and time". While I agree with what Ramibabe said, "different strokes for different folks", I decided to continue my thoughts on this post and thereby continuing the saga of dealing with the exes.
Along time ago, I made the mistake of having another boyfriend (2nd), six months after I brokeup with my first (1st). At that time, I believed that the only way I could forget about the 1st is if there was someone new. After all, he had someone new, so why can't I?
I admit I was immature at that time, thinking that the 2nd would help me heal and restore my ego. In a way, he did. I am not claiming he is perfect. He has his faults, of course. One thing that I will never forget him for is he helped me become the person I am right now.
He taught me to be independent, strong, and showed me that they only way I would regain my self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth is if I show myself the esteem, respect, and worth I think I should have. He gave me a beautiful gift of showing me how much he loved me and appreciated me as I am. His thoughtfulness and generosity was more than any girl could ever ask for. It was later on that I realized I didn't love him the same way. I couldn't give him the love he deserved, because I had nothing to give -- I gave what I had in my last relationship.
I was a hollow human being when I got involved with him. In my selfish way, I used him to replace the hurts of my past, help me get over the 1st, and heal my heart. I didn't want to remember my 1st and wanted him to replace the memories so badly. But it wasn't fair. I wasn't whole when I came in to the relationship with him. I didn't give him the love he deserved because the shadow of the 1st was still there.
When we broke up, I took the time to heal myself. I dated yes, but I didn't get serious with anyone because I knew I wasn't completely healed. By the time I got myself into another relationship, it had been two years since the 2nd and I broke up. By then, there were no shadows from both exes. I loved them still for they were a part of my life, but I no longer love them anymore for it to affect my then present boyfriend.
Now that another relationship had passed, I'm taking my time to heal. I'm broken, but I know I can heal myself given enough time. The heart is a resilient organ. The damage is there, but in time it will heal. I tell myself, i don't need another man to fix a broken me. Nor do I need another person to become whole again.
Only me and time can do that.
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