hard habit to break
My mom, though she has never seen me smoke, is asking me to quit. She thinks it's as easy as quitting going to Sidebar. (Yes, I have kept my end of the bargain and I haven't seen even the shadow of the place in the past three weeks.)
Easy is when you really want to do what is being asked of you. What is not easy is when you don't really feel like doing so. Especially, if you like what you are currently doing and don't plan to quit just because your mom or some other important person says so.
I admit. I have an oral fixation.
I smoke. I eat. I kiss.
I like the whole idea of doing something with my mouth in general.
Being on a diet right now and no one to kiss, I turn to smoking. I was able to cut down on my smoking before, but it just went back when I had to diet. Now that I'm sick, I can't smoke and so I eat.
It's a vicious cycle. I know it has to stop sooner or later. As those who quit ahead of me said, "You must have a very good reason to quit so that you want regress."
I hope to get myself orally occupied in some other way that won't make me fat. A non-smoking boyfriend present perhaps?
* * *
In choosing what you want versus what you need to do, the heart and the head are always at ends. At least it has always been that way for me in dealing with matters of the heart. My heart yearns for one thing, while my head says another thing.
Is pain always part of happiness?
How does one walk out on someone she loves?
How does one prevent herself from getting hurt?
Can one love within a prescribed limit?
What does one do when her friends are against the guy she loves?
How does one go on when she knows there's nothing there for her?
Easy is when you really want to do what is being asked of you. What is not easy is when you don't really feel like doing so. Especially, if you like what you are currently doing and don't plan to quit just because your mom or some other important person says so.
I admit. I have an oral fixation.
I smoke. I eat. I kiss.
I like the whole idea of doing something with my mouth in general.
Being on a diet right now and no one to kiss, I turn to smoking. I was able to cut down on my smoking before, but it just went back when I had to diet. Now that I'm sick, I can't smoke and so I eat.
It's a vicious cycle. I know it has to stop sooner or later. As those who quit ahead of me said, "You must have a very good reason to quit so that you want regress."
I hope to get myself orally occupied in some other way that won't make me fat. A non-smoking boyfriend present perhaps?
In choosing what you want versus what you need to do, the heart and the head are always at ends. At least it has always been that way for me in dealing with matters of the heart. My heart yearns for one thing, while my head says another thing.
Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda... you know very well that the heart feels for itself and there's no rational thought in it that would say who you love [more].Somehow the whole concept of "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is way too passe. After awhile, it gets tiring, especially when you know it's pointless.-- cecil
24 Aug. 2004
Is pain always part of happiness?
How does one walk out on someone she loves?
How does one prevent herself from getting hurt?
Can one love within a prescribed limit?
What does one do when her friends are against the guy she loves?
How does one go on when she knows there's nothing there for her?
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