me, my bed, and i
I spent the whole weekend in my pjs and literally slept the two days off. After spending the month working my butt off (and a total of 60 hours overtime), I finally got some rest.
October 2004 was the month I worked hard and I partied hard. Last weekend, I felt it had finally taken its toll on me. So I slept. I woke up, forgetting to eat, and climbed back to bed. The most number of hours I was awake was 6 hours on Saturday night. I went to a friend's birthday party, then had coffee with a friend and his friends in Metrowalk, Ortigas.
But when I went home, I went back to sleeping. Slept through the whole Sunday, except for an hour, when the family and I went to mass.
It was late Sunday night that I finally made contact with someone from the living. After quarelling with him Saturday night, I called up him.
Somewhere between the small talk and his "favorite topic", he posted the question, "Are you lonely?"
Immediately, I replied, "Yes."
It was an honest answer. Too honest, in fact. Even for me. I wanted to take it back and say, "Hell, no, I'm not. I'm having the time of my life."
Despite the hectic month I just had at work, the numerous gimiks I had with friends, and the preparations for my birthday, I had been lonely. I have chosen to ignore the fact that all those activies were just a cover up to my real state.
Maybe it's pre-birthday jitters, he says.
Maybe. Maybe it isn't.
Maybe it is because I'm going to be a year older and I'm still alone.
Maybe I'm just drained with all the pressures from work. The mental pressure of meeting the deadline and the emotional pressure of losing the project.
Maybe it's the feeling you have of anticipating for the holidays, shopping for presents and decorating houses and trees, that when it finally arrives, you just lost all the ra-ra-rah.
Maybe I got lonely after I bid someone special goodbye.
Or maybe I'm just lonely to begin with and didn't realize it till last night.
Right now, I just want to go back to bed and sleep the rest of my lifetime off.
October 2004 was the month I worked hard and I partied hard. Last weekend, I felt it had finally taken its toll on me. So I slept. I woke up, forgetting to eat, and climbed back to bed. The most number of hours I was awake was 6 hours on Saturday night. I went to a friend's birthday party, then had coffee with a friend and his friends in Metrowalk, Ortigas.
But when I went home, I went back to sleeping. Slept through the whole Sunday, except for an hour, when the family and I went to mass.
It was late Sunday night that I finally made contact with someone from the living. After quarelling with him Saturday night, I called up him.
Somewhere between the small talk and his "favorite topic", he posted the question, "Are you lonely?"
Immediately, I replied, "Yes."
It was an honest answer. Too honest, in fact. Even for me. I wanted to take it back and say, "Hell, no, I'm not. I'm having the time of my life."
Despite the hectic month I just had at work, the numerous gimiks I had with friends, and the preparations for my birthday, I had been lonely. I have chosen to ignore the fact that all those activies were just a cover up to my real state.
Maybe it's pre-birthday jitters, he says.
Maybe. Maybe it isn't.
Maybe it is because I'm going to be a year older and I'm still alone.
Maybe I'm just drained with all the pressures from work. The mental pressure of meeting the deadline and the emotional pressure of losing the project.
Maybe it's the feeling you have of anticipating for the holidays, shopping for presents and decorating houses and trees, that when it finally arrives, you just lost all the ra-ra-rah.
Maybe I got lonely after I bid someone special goodbye.
Or maybe I'm just lonely to begin with and didn't realize it till last night.
Right now, I just want to go back to bed and sleep the rest of my lifetime off.
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