marrying eric bana and the filipino patriarchal syndrome

I haven't watched Troy yet. I plan to watch it tomorrow with my college friends.

However, my friend, Cookie, did. Yesterday. On the movie's first day of showing.

Now she has the big obsession on Eric Bana. Mind you, his family name is really Banadinovich. What a mouthful. But then again, looking at him, he is mouth-watering.

Going back to Cookie, one thing that she is, is gamophobic (fear of commitment and/or marriage). Every guy she meets, she tries (and almost always succeeds) to find the guy's flaws, that way she would never have the chance of falling for him. Unless she gets her two signs, but that's a different story.

God help her with her obsession with Mr. Banadinovich. She claims to marry the man who looks exactly like him since the really Eric Bana is married already. Imagine my surprise, when she told me she didn't appreciate the movie as much as she does others. I surmise this is because she was ogling Eric Bana the whole time he's on screen.

Then it came to the point that I asked her, what if her Eric Bana look-alike was deaf, blind, mute, or there's something wrong with him, would she still marry him? After a long exchange, it boiled down to she wouldn't marry the Mr. Bana imitation if he has the "Filipino Patriarchal Syndrome" (Can I coin this and get intellectual property rights, patent, copyright or whatever its equivalent?)

Filipino Patriarchal Syndrome is a mentality of Filipino men. You see, even if we have a patriarchal society, our family units are, more often than not, matriarchal. This then screws up the minds of Filipino men. Society dictates double standards and machismo, but their home experiences are governed by the mothers. Thus, men try to find women who they can control and govern, and end up marrying women similar to their mothers -- only they would control them and not the other way around.

According to Cookie, Filipino men don't mind having girlfriends or wives who are smart and intelligent. They only resent significant others who are more driven and ambitious than they are. This, I believe, is "ego-flattening" for them. Their machismo is damaged beyond repair. Hence, they tend to stifle their women's driven and ambition and, inevitably, crush their pride.

Realizing this, Cookie and I are better off single than married to someone who wouldn't let us be ourselves. Even if he looks like Eric Banadinovich.