work doesn't feel like work no more

Yesterday and today, I'm not a business development manager as I am designated at work.

I am Cecil, videographer and video editor, for a 5-minute clip that's supposed to be presented to the region.

The office should be thankful that I have a 3CCD video cam. Without it, we wouldn't have been able to film the short clips yesterday. They should also be thankful that I have a boyfriend from work, who has this wonderful laptop with 1GB of memory, to easily render the clips.

*sigh*

I wish that they at least provided some sort of budget for our Starbucks nights, as we downloaded the needed paraphernalia for their commercial.

Oh yeah, I remember. They were required to have zero budget for this effort (meaning no professional to work on this.) It was supposed to be a DIY project.

So what the hell am I doing this for?

Assuming I do this well, I get a pat on the back and 5% for my performance appraisal, for work done beyond duty. The rest of the 95% suffers though.

If I don't do a good work, the 5% goes down the drain with the other 95%. At least, I wouldn't be asked to this in the future.

Either way, I get the raw end of the deal.

* * *

The coming March seems to be a Training Month. For more than a week, I'm going to be on training. Some on-site, some off site.

For tomorrow, I'll be at Manila Peninsula. However, they won't be serving lunch for free. Tsk tsk.

Cheapskate.

I'm required to be in business attire.

Sheesh.

I don't own one. Or at least I don't fit in those that are gathering cobwebs in my closet.

on the top of my head

Right now, I'm typing faster than I'm thinking. It's taking a while to sink in if I'm making it all any sense with what I've just posted.

Primarily, there are issues that I do not want to face right now and I'm afraid that once I put words into this blog they will become soooo real it's scary.

Given that this is my own private space, I want to face my fears and hopefully survive when I finally confront them.

On little things...

1. I am missing one Secondary Sponsor. Actually, there are three of them that I had in mind for the position because they represent a part of my life. My high school friend who I can't seem to reach. A college friend who might be migrating. A post-relationship friend who wouldn't want to wear a gown. Has it really taken me so long that I don't have that much single friends to fill in a part???
2. I am missing a Female Principal Sponsor. Ok, the idea was 6 from my side, six from his. Well, I have six on mine, but he has 5 on his. Where do we get 1 more??? The person we'd like to fill the part is not really a good idea because she's VERY influential at work and people might think we are mixing our professional lives with our personal lives. As if we are not doing so right now.
3. I'd still want to Tiffany Chairs on my wedding. But I'd love the 1952 Mercedes Benz that we are planning to rent. Or having Manila Philharmonic Orchestra play at both Church and Reception. It sucks when you don't get what you want. Argh!!!

On a bigger note.

MIL2B!

Need I say more?

• She wants me to change my whole wedding colors just because she wants to reuse a gown she plans to wear for a family's wedding.
• She doesn't want me to hire an organizer because it won't cause at all. But how could I order her relatives around to ensure that the different suppliers who don't know each other will arrange my reception the way I want it arranged.
• She wants me to spend over this weekend 40kms away from home, just so that she could grill me, or so my fiancee jokes.

I know she just wants to be involved and she really wants to help. However, this is my wedding. A wedding I've planned and saved (still saving) for a very long time.

Gawd.

Please let me live through this weekend.

I hope this post won't boomerang on me sooner or later.

maniacal bride

As mentioned in my previous post, yes, I am indeed planning a wedding.

No, it's not a friend's wedding. Nor a cousin's wedding. Definitely, not my brother's wedding.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mwahahahaha (Maniacal Laugh.)

After 28 years in this earth, I finally have the chance to settle down.

Right now, I'm not exactly sure if it's a blessing or a curse.

On a sanitized site, I document my thoughts and experiences for the public viewing.

On the other hand, I'm back here wanting to pull every inch of my grown-back hair. Generally, it's still 9 months away before I actually say, "I do". However, as early as now, I am stressing myself so that I wouldn't be stressed by that date.

I definitely need to vent.

i'm back...

After a long time, I'm finally blogging again.

*sigh*

This feels so nice. Like a massage on a very stressful day. A very nice kneading on my shoulder blades where it hurts so much.

I finally figured it out.

I really have to blog before I kill or be killed by someone. Or something.

Between my work and planning a wedding... I definitely need a stress reliever.